


Not a Word

by Just_Another_Day



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Past Child Sexual Abuse, Injury, M/M, Post-Canon, References to Trauma Responses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 22:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Another_Day/pseuds/Just_Another_Day
Summary: It's the first time Laurent has come so close to seriously injuring Damen without actually meaning to. Laurent hopes it will also be the last.





	Not a Word

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 'Damaged Vocal Cords' square of Bad Things Happen Bingo, and the 'Protective Hug' square of Fluff Bingo. Canon-typical warnings apply.

The moment the physician finally left them alone in their rooms, Laurent reached out to gently cup one hand behind Damen's head to hold him still, as his other hand carefully pressed one of the cold soaked towels the servants had provided against the obvious bruising on Damen's throat. Damen frowned. It was clear that Damen didn't appreciate being tended to that way. He probably thought he was being treated like an invalid.

Damen opened his mouth, almost certainly to say exactly that.

Laurent spoke up immediately before Damen could press the doubtless hoarse words past the swelling in his throat. "Stop that. You heard what Paschal said. You'll only make it worse if you try to talk. And besides, I guarantee that I already know what you're going to say without you having to bother."

Damen didn't look impressed, but his lips pressed together, so Laurent considered it a victory.

Though considering it had been Laurent angling for a victory over Damen that had caused Damen's injury in the first place, perhaps Laurent shouldn't be glad of that. 

Damen wouldn't be thinking about it that way. He would just consider it an accident, and therefore no one's fault, let alone Laurent's. Wrestling didn't come without its risks, Laurent could practically hear in Damen's voice. These things happened.

For Laurent's part, though, he precisely remembered his intentions in that split-second after he'd struggled free of Damen's hold. He'd seen an opening and immediately made the decision to take advantage of it for all it was worth. He hadn't even considered the prospect that he might be going too far in lashing out with his full strength. So it had hardly been what _he_ would consider an accident, whatever Damen might think. Maybe Laurent had technically been aiming the heel of his foot at Damen's collarbone rather than at the much more vulnerable target of his throat, but being off by a few inches because Damen had shifted was no real excuse. Especially, as Paschal had pointed out critically, when just an inch or two _more_ would probably have resulted in Laurent's foot catching Damen's chin and snapping it unnaturally upwards. The swelling to the throat would heal soon enough if properly tended to, Paschal had adjudged, but a serious injury to the spine would have been a very different matter. It could so easily have been far worse. And for what?

Being able to gloat over finally winning one of their matches was hardly worth it. Laurent should have been more careful when so much (when Damen, who was _everything_, really) was at risk. He knew Damen always held back just a little with him for exactly that reason.

But Laurent still wasn't entirely used to the concept of letting any weakness go unexploited. It was almost a compulsion at this point, especially when Laurent had little time to think it through. Laurent wasn't sure he entirely liked what that said about him.

As if he sensed the darker path that Laurent's thoughts were straying down, or maybe just was aware of Laurent's concern for him and his need for reassurance, Damen looped his arms around Laurent. He didn't even try to say anything of it when Laurent clung to him in return a little more readily than usual.

Laurent wouldn't have minded staying like that for a good long while. But he didn't fight it when Damen directed them towards their bed. Damen's fingers plucked at Laurent's chiton, which Laurent had hastily (and admittedly incorrectly) wrapped back around himself in some attempt at modesty when the physician was called to tend to Damen's injury, even though Damen clearly couldn't see the point in doing the same for himself. The material hit the floor, leaving Laurent bare. Laurent similarly let the towel – which was no longer cold against Damen's throat anymore anyway thanks to their combined body heat – fall to join it.

The bruise, now uncovered once more, stood surprisingly stark against Damen's skin. Laurent forced himself not to flinch from the sight – the reminder of his stupidity and what it might have cost him – but Laurent still made a point of extinguishing the candles in quick succession until he could barely make out Damen's expression, let alone the dark patch at his throat. That was better. Somewhat.

Laurent let Damen draw him down onto the mattress. It only took a few seconds of Damen settling in close behind him before Damen took advantage of their positions to trail a hand down Laurent's belly, and further. Laurent couldn't even muster up any feeling of surprise. Because of _course_ Damen's thoughts would go in that direction, despite it being a very different direction to Laurent's, and despite whatever pain Damen must be in. He was so predictable, Laurent let himself think fondly.

Laurent tried to imagine just letting it happen under these circumstances. A large part of him wanted it. But there would be no hints of the usual litanies that streamed from Damen's mouth when they were in bed, which not only let Laurent know how much Damen was enjoying it, but also served a reminder that right now it was _Damen_ who was with Laurent. For that to be suddenly missing...

Laurent suppressed a shudder and reached down to catch Damen's hand, holding it still.

"You're injured and need sleep to recover. No unnecessary exertion. Physician's orders," Laurent said, even though that was only half the reason at best.

There was a grunt from behind him. Damen probably wished he could argue about whether it was really 'unnecessary'. But at least there was no sign that he was questioning Laurent's motives in saying no.

Good. Laurent had no intention of ever hinting to Damen that sometimes, when his control over himself occasionally slipped, Laurent's rebellious mind would fleetingly mistake Damen for someone else. In those moments, Laurent was usually able to forcibly ground himself using all of the context clues available to him. But even if they faced each other, sight alone might not necessarily be enough to manage that when they were in darkness, when Laurent would have to focus hard to make out much more than a silhouette that was considerably larger than Laurent himself. Laurent needed the guarantee of being able to hear Damen's voice as well to minimise the risk of getting trapped in those memories for longer than a few seconds. He couldn't take the chance of that. Not when Damen would surely realise that something was wrong if that happened.

Laurent couldn't stand for Damen to realise that anything about what they shared still reminded Laurent of those other times.

So Laurent moved Damen's hand up instead, pulling Damen's arm around himself so that Damen's palm rested more innocently over Laurent's chest. Damen was quick to take the hint, wrapping his other arm firmly around to join the first. He seemed willing enough to content himself with that kind of closeness, as long as it was what Laurent was indicating that he wanted. Laurent relaxed a little against him. At least he had no need to fear that an embrace of this kind – which was unerringly comforting and acted as a barrier against the rest of the world – had enough in common with any of his old memories to blur the lines, even without Damen's whispers to remind him. So this was fine (better than fine).

Damen tucked his face against the side of Laurent's neck. His breaths were warm and didn't sound laboured despite the swelling. A fortunate thing. Though it shouldn't ever have been left to luck.

In future, Laurent was going to do far better at combating his ingrained responses, he promised himself. There had been a time when he'd had no compunctions against hurting Damen, or worse (and when he'd _wanted_ those things so badly), but that couldn't be further from the truth now. Laurent's instincts would just have to catch up to his intentions, no matter how hard Laurent had to work to make that happen.

Laurent had no desire to ever jeopardise _this_ in any way now that he had it.


End file.
